New Sheets (and a bear story)

I think we've established before that I'm on the cheap side. Some call it frugal, I just call it cheap. I bought new sheets about 5 years ago. I think. I can't remember when I bought them but it was a long time ago. I only bought one set because you can just take them off and wash them and put them right back on. There's really no need for two sets. Not really.

Well the sheets got downright threadbare. In fact, on my side of the bed, I wore a hole in the bottom sheet from swishing my feet back and forth. I don't do it on purpose, it's one of those habits that I'm not even aware of. I guess it's comforting as I fall asleep. After a couple of weeks of dodging the hole I decided I needed to break down and buy new sheets, so I did.

Once home I washed the new sheets because they seemed VERY stiff straight out of the package. Then I put them on the bed. They still felt rather stiff but I figured after a couple days they will soften. They haven't. In fact, they are incredibly NOISY.

SWISH, SWISH, SWISH go the feet. It sounds like a landslide when someone rolls over and the sheet is pulled over. My pillow makes a loud SWOOSH as I turn my head to the side. SWOOSH, turn it back again. RUSTLE, RUSTLE as Tim adjusts the sheet around his neck. SWISH as I turn over. SWOOSH, there goes the pillow again. RUSTLE as I cough. We both started laughing at how loud it all seemed. Too much noise! How's anybody supposed to get any sleep around here?

Speaking of feet swishing; one time several years ago Tim and I were out camping in the woods. We had done a walk-in caribou hunt (didn't get any, but that's another story for another time). We were in the tent late at night when Tim says quietly, "shhhh, I hear something." I get completely quiet. "I don't hear it anymore," he says. Then not 30 seconds later, "shhhh, I hear something again!" This time I'm getting scared. Tim hears way better than me. "It sounds like a bear walking around," he says. Now I'm almost petrified. I'm picturing the bear tearing the tent down and pulling me out and eating me alive. "I guess it's nothing. I don't hear it anymore." I'm still laying quietly, straining for any sounds. This last about two minutes. "There it is again!" he whispers loudly. I hold my breath, straining again to hear the bear creeping up on me. "I guess it's nothing. I don't hear it now." This went on for about 10 minutes. Finally. FINALLY. We both realize it is me swishing my feet inside the sleeping bag. Everytime he's told me to "shhhhh" I stop. As soon as he says it's okay I start swishing again.

Needless to say, we now check to make sure it's not my feet before either of us get's worried about bears. And I don't like tent camping as much as I like my safe, 4-walled log cabin that bears can't get into.